Because (I Think) I Can

breathe. keep calm and carry on. breathe.

I did something last night I have not done in….years.  I’m talking like maybe 15 - 20 years.  Ready for it??

I went on a bike ride BY MYSELF!!!!

Seriously friends, as sad as that is, it was amazing.  I have the most adorable bike.  It is a pinkish/lavenderish colored Norco Rio Vista, a beach cruiser, and when I ride, people call out “Nice Bike!!”  It’s awesome.  But usually I have little people with me, so I can’t truly enjoy the ride.  But this week, the kids are at VBS (Vacation Bible School, at church) from 6:00 – 8:30.  Our baby goes to bed at 7:00.  And it suddenly dawned on me, I could do this!  It was great, and a perfect ending to the day.

I also played around a bit with editing pictures on picmonkey.com.  this is a seriously fun place to be.  I’ve been complaining lately about posting with wordpress, and something that really annoys me is getting all the pictures onto the post… it takes f.o.r.e.v.e.r.  So I’m trying to play with ways to make it easier and a bit more fun.  And I put my blog’s name on the pics!  (all the good blogs are doing it!    ).  Fun, right??

I had a really good day yesterday, and a really good day Monday.  But Tuesday was not a good day.  Although my headache was about a 3 on the scale-of-pain, sometimes it’s just the kind of headache that turns my emotions upside down.  And it was a very hot day.  And Anna was in a mood.  It was a bad day.  Hubby and I have also noticed something that has changed about me.  I used to basically have a photogenic memory of everything in the house.  I could remember where everything was.  Even the most obscure item.  Now I can’t remember where the keys were that I thought I had in my hands.  I try to “talk” to myself when I do things now, like “I am putting Anna’s stuffed puppy in this box”, and at the end of the day, her and I will be ripping apart the house to find the stuffed puppy.  When hubby find it, I’m like “right… now I remember talking myself through that”.

It’s frustrating, and it’s depressing.  And it started when the headaches started.

Why am I like this?  Is it because I have headaches and they distract me enough to keep me from remembering things they way I used to?  Is it because I had just had my 3rd baby, and it’s my new “baby brain” that’s lasting a real long time?  Is it because I have a beautiful but defiant 4-year-old redhead that can deplete me from all positive emotion in an instant?  Am I just too busy with my 3 kids, a marriage, a dog, a life, and hobbies?  Or is there something wrong with my head?  My gut tells me I am just too distracted with life and everything in it, plus the headaches, to bother with the details.  But it affects my daily life, so I want to get over it.

Oh well, I have my appointment with the neurologist today, we’ll see what his medical self has to say about it, my guess is he’ll tell me to slow down!  …I’m not sure I know how to slow down!  And this is why I love these signs, Keep Calm and Carry On.  Maybe I should make a few more of these and hang them in every room!!

xo, Leanne

You can find these signs for sale on my For Sale page soon, just not today! 

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